Don't you sometimes wish you could redraft real life? That clanger you dropped, written out of history? That embarrassing mistake erased from being? The unsuitable men you dallied with, gone forever?
I've lead a fairly quiet life, but my list of mistakes makes me wince nonetheless. And I frequently rewrite my past in my own head. Every incident is mentally edited so unreasonable points of view are wittily countered with word perfect arguments. And as for those unsuitable men...well, I can just tell them where to go before things get too serious.
Of course, it's too late to make a real difference. And nobody but me will ever know that, in my imagination, I've won every quarrel retrospectively. Unless I write about it in a story, of course.
And that's why, in my opinion, writing will win over real life every time. With writing, I can redraft until I present the perfect version of every event. What's more, I can wreak revenge on every single person who has ever annoyed me.
The girl who tried to bully me at school? Well, she lost her job in the very first short story I sold. The creep who tried to spike my drink at a party? I've murdered him in another short story. The best friend who had an affair with my husband? I have a lot of nasty stuff planned for her - probably enough for a full length novel.
As for the lovely people I've met (and thankfully there are many more of them), in my stories these wonderful beings are rewarded with all the terrific things they deserve.
If only it were so easy in the real world.
10 comments:
Getting revenge on all the horrible people in fiction is so dignified - and it is also so satisfying to give lovely people rewards. There are so many bits of my life I wish I could rewrite too!
Writing is a great way to give people the comeuppances they deserve, as well as the happy-endings.
I'd definitely re-write myself a UK publishing deal if I could!
LOL on getting revenge on the bullying girl. My ex is a pharmacist so I've written a BORING, DULL pharmacist in a story before.
Ahhh the old sayin..."Revenge is a dish best served cold"...is never so true when we write. Caz xx
All of that is why I also write crime. With lots of blood in it!
x
yes writing a great place to exact justice!!
I love that in writing we can take time to make the words sound just right.
In real life I'm not that witty and I can never come back with a quick, pithy reply. But oh when I write, I can make the banter between my characters sparkle.
Gosh yes, Suzanne! I put a very strict headmistress in one of my books, but I must admit I was a lot kinder than she was to me, lol.
I love that you murdered him Suz, no half measures there then!
Hi Teresa - and it's great fun:0)
Karen - I'd rewrite you a UK publishing deal, too, because you certainly deserve it.
Rachael - that's terrific, serves him right :0)
Well said, Caroline. :0)
I'm thinking I should turn to crime, Sally, so many people I want to get my own back on (sigh).
It is, Kerrin. :0)
I'm not at all witty in real life, Romy, but in my own head nobody gets the better of me.
Hi Maya - I've written nasty things for a couple of horrid teachers, too :0)
Lol, Jo - he deserved it - and it was very nasty.
XX
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