Friday, November 19, 2010

A Cure For When Writing Sucks!!

We all like (and mostly wish) that when we sit at our desks to write, that inspiration strikes like lightning and words flow like, well, water. But anyone who's ever attempted to write a novel knows sometimes writing just SUCKS!! You wrestle with your characters, you dig deep for that elusive emotion and come up with zilch and as for finding the perfect setting...forget it!

Fear not, I have the perfect solution. Really, it's quite simple. You know that medicine cabinet in your kitchen where all of life's remedies supposedly reside? Well, here's a brand new idea for a medicine cabinet. Trust me, a trip down these stairs will cure all your writing ails. If not, you'll probably be too rat-assed to feel any pain.


All looks calm and serene. Inspiration is seconds away, I promise...

Happiness draws closer...

Et voila!!!
Tell me that does not make you happy? Hmm??
Hey, I'm talking to... never mind...

Yeeees, we'll see you next week!

But just so you don't overdo it, here's the science...concentrate!

Disease =>>Wine Cure =>>Daily Dose
Problems with scene setting =>>Beaujolais Nouveau =>>2 glasses
2nd Chapter meeh-ness =>>Côte de Beaune =>>3 glasses
Characters misbehaving =>> Medoc =>>1 glass
Sagging Middle =>>Saint Emillion =>>2 glasses (minimum)
Digging deep for emotion =>>Alsace, Sancere =>>4 glasses
Secondary character-itis =>>Rose de Provence =>>2 glasses
Black moment-itis =>>Graves =>>5 glasses (it deserves it)
Typing "The End" =>>Champagne =>>Er, Copious amounts


Rachel Lyndhurst said...

I have GOT to get one of those! Perfect, perfect, perfect.

I've used Rioja/Tempranillo for hot Spaniards, Minervois for sultry Frenchmen but struggled with the stormy Greek, so Champagne is the default.

This method works. Really.

Happy weekend eveyone!


Sally Clements said...

'hic' oh yesh, I was sufring from alla dose, but the cure's...(falls over, unconcious)

Christina Hollis said...

Surely champagne is the cure for everything? ;)

Sutton Fox said...

ROFL! Totally, truly, awesome.

Can't wait to try it. :)

Joanne Coles said...

LOL, that kitchen is beautiful ... every inch of it!

Maya Blake said...

I like your style, Rachel. Your taste is faultless. Can I come and visit you and stay for a while?

Maya Blake said...

Sally, I think I fell unconscious too. Woke up a few hours ago, hic!

Maya Blake said...

Christina, if you have a Champagne cure for everything, can I come and visit you, too? I'll be good, I promise ;)

Maya Blake said...

Sutton, it is, isn't it? lol.

Jo, yes, it is. But I know which bit you like best *nudge nudge* Off to check my lottery numbers. I aim to install one asap!